View from the North Carolina house rented by my family this summer

Family Time

We've been spending time with family this summer -- his, mine and ours.  The experiences, all very different, cause me to think about how families grow and evolve.  Here is a summary of our summer family encounters:

• One afternoon we were surprised to see Tom's brother Bill from Lake City on our porch, along with two nephews and a fiancee.   The last time we spent any time with the two nephews they were kids.  I kept looking for the childhood faces I remembered as these young men talked about the joys and concerns of adults -- expecting twins, jobs held, relocating to be nearer a daughter, music and family memories.  How did these boys grow up so fast? 
• We spent a week in Orlando with our two grandsons and with our daughter-in-law and granddaughter for part of the week.  The oldest grandson will be starting high school this year, a milestone I can hardly believe.  Watching the kids interact, I wonder what their relationships will be like in 10 or 20 years.  Will they remain as close as they are today? 
• Right on the heels of that trip, we spent a week in a rental house in the North Carolina mountains with my five siblings, their spouses and the youngest nieces and nephews as part of the continuing celebration of my mom's 80th birthday.  In addition to the usual challenges of that many adults spending a week together in the same house, we have cultural differences introduced with a sister-in-law from Thailand and another from Sweden.  Getting a glimpse of child-rearing practices of my younger brothers' child rearing was at times interesting and at times maddening.  Suffice it to say that we don't all think alike.

In addition to these highlights, we've had short visits with Tom's two sisters and his mother in Georgia; and Tom visited for the first time in years with another brother in rehab following surgery for a work injury.

In thinking about these family encounters,  I realize that I don't really know these people all that well.  Probably most families spend little time really talking about what they value, what they believe, what they fear.  Talk of work, travels, movies and a host of other activities include stories to entertain or even surprise, but not usually to enlighten or expose.

I'm going to try harder to really know our grandchildren.  I think I made a good start on vacation with the two grandsons.  I listened carefully to the younger talk about his hopes for a life helping animals; and to the older one talk about hopes and expectations for high school.  I know they'll be grown in a flash but I can't slow time.  I'll just try to use a little more wisely in this time of transitioning to retirement.